Lets Overthink Together:

It’s May. Which means it’s officially time to stare at mock drafts like they owe us money and irrationally believe this is our year—just like last year. And the year before that. And the year before that when we drafted Michael Thomas in the 3rd.

We’ve blacked out the pain, fired the imaginary GM inside us, and we’re ready to start fresh—with the same terrible instincts.

A Glimpse into this Newsletter:

So some backstory that is short because you probably don’t care.

I have been playing Fantasy Football for over a decade now. I’ve won some, lost some, and have finished 2nd more than anyone you know.

The internet is flooded with “Experts”, yet not matter how much you listen to them, you:

• Still lose games you should’ve won

• Scored more points on your bench than your starters

• And have said “I KNEW I SHOULD’VE STARTED HIM INSTEAD” at least 176 times.

So this is a no experts newsletter, by the average Fantasy Footballer. I listen to podcast, read reports, check out what coaches say, and take all that into consideration.

But I don’t let it override the pure vibe and gut feeling.

So Join the rest of the mediocre players out there. We will obviously call out our wrong plays, spike the ball when we were right, and share the despair of others.

 

🔮 Draft Regret Forecast: Sleepers That Will Either Win You a League or Haunt You Forever

We dug through rankings, projections, and a healthy dose of delusion to bring you our Sleeper List 1.0—players you'll draft in Round 10 and either call “steals”… or “the reason I missed the playoffs.” There's no in-between.

🧨 Rashid Shaheed – WR, Saints

ADP: Basically free | Projection: 182 pts | Vibe: Sneaky WR3 with jet fuel
In Weeks 1–5, he outgained Olave. Let that sink in. He’s electric, he’s cheap, and he’s probably on your bench when he drops 24 on Monday Night. Draft him in Round 9 if you’re bold, Round 10 if you’re passive-aggressive.

📦 Josh Downs – WR, Colts

ADP: 12th round dinner mint | Projection: 163 pts
Yes, Richardson can throw. No, not always on target. But when he did, Downs looked like a legit WR2. They're both young, both fast, and both capable of dropping 20+... and then disappearing for 3 weeks. Draft = emotional roulette.

⚡ Anthony Richardson – QB, Colts

ADP: Late, because fear is powerful | Projection: Who even knows
He might win you your league. He might be benched before Week 3. We love the upside—like, 30 points per game upside—but his floor? Somewhere between “DNP” and “Pick-6 to lose your matchup.” Proceed with vibes, not caution.

🐍 Tank Bigsby – RB, Jaguars

ADP: Dusty shelf under “TBD” | Projection: 109 pts
Everyone forgot he exists. Which is exactly why he’ll randomly become the Jags’ RB1 in Week 7 while Etienne “deals with some tightness.” A total dart throw—but one that could hit a soft spot in this ambiguous backfield.

💾 Offseason Waiver Watch

Nobody’s playing, but that doesn’t mean we can’t panic-shop for sleepers. Start looking for the following to keep disappointment high:

• Rookie WR You’ve Never Heard Of – Someone on Twitter said he’s “the next Amon-Ra,” so obviously he's now in our top 30.

• Backup RB in a Bad Offense – Every year, one of these guys becomes relevant. Just not the one you draft.

• The Veteran Cut From Three Teams – Redemption arc loading…

🏆 Offseason Oops Hall of Fame

"I kept a player in March. He got traded to a team that doesn’t pass the ball. I am thriving emotionally."
— A real keeper league tragedy submitted via our fake mailbag

📬 Mailbag Madness

Q: "Is it too early to start mock drafts?"
A: Is it too early to ruin your confidence? No.

Q: "Will Anthony Richardson win MVP or die on a designed QB run in Week 3?"
A: Yes.

🗓 Next Week Preview

• We’ll rank players based solely on vibes

• A guide to which fantasy sites give the most false hope.

• A new section called “Things We’ll Believe Until Week 1 Proves Us Wrong.”

🙃 Outro

This is your reminder that no matter how early you prep, no matter how many podcasts you listen to, and no matter how bulletproof your strategy feels in May—you will still draft someone who scores 5 points in September and ruins your life.

We’ll be here for all of it.

Until then… keep those bench points warm.